


areas of expertise

by dudski



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/F, F/M, M/M, POV Outsider, Social Media, Whimsies, in which Stan gets Twitter famous for his love of jigsaws
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:34:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25638142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dudski/pseuds/dudski
Summary: @PuzzleStan is:-A puzzle enthusiast named Stan (44%, 3553 votes)-An anonymous stan of puzzles (44%, 3602 votes)-A puzzle enthusiast named Stan who is leaning into the wordplay (12%, 969 votes)
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Original Female Character/Original Female Character, Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris
Comments: 111
Kudos: 967





	areas of expertise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [disco_vendetta (brinn)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brinn/gifts).



> Special thanks to former professional basketball coach Stan Van Gundy.

**Puzzle Enthusiasts Forum**

**THREAD: Guidance on gifts for a puzzle pro!**

USER: jessica2

> Sorry if this isn’t allowed! My girlfriend’s about to finish grad school and I wanted to get her a puzzle to congratulate her, but I’m totally out of my depth. I know enough to know that I don’t want to just go to Barnes & Noble and pick from what they have available - she’ll love what I get her no matter what, but this is a big moment for her and I want to get her something really nice.
> 
> Here’s what I have to work with:
> 
> -I know she’s interested in wooden puzzles, especially the ones with those little shapes. (Sorry, I forget what they’re called.)
> 
> -She doesn’t have many wooden ones yet, just a couple of smaller ones that were less expensive, so I don’t think she has a company she prefers.
> 
> -Ideally I’d like it if I could get a look at the shapes ahead of time to see if there are any that seem a little more “her”
> 
> -The harder the better, she loves a challenge.
> 
> Any tips are appreciated!

USER: Stacey (moderator)

> Welcome Jessica! For wooden puzzles I really like Palo Alto or Archer. Palo Alto’s website lets you filter puzzles by difficulty, which should be useful for you.
> 
> The little shapes in the puzzle are called whimsy pieces. 😀 Usually companies only put a preview of a couple of whimsy pieces online, like this:
> 
> Luckily we have experts here who might be able to help! If you have Twitter you should check out Stan’s account, he reviews a lot of wooden puzzles and always posts a lot of photos showing off his whimsies.
> 
> @PuzzleStan Anything to add?

USER: PuzzleStan

> Just my handle: I’m PuzzleStan on Twitter too. Jessica, feel free to message me if you have any questions.

* * *

**Twitter Profile - @PuzzleStan**

Puzzle Reviews  
@PuzzleStan  
CPA and whimsy enthusiast.  
Joined June 2011  
50 following | 350 followers

**Puzzle Reviews @PuzzleStan** So far the Audubon Society’s new Birds of the American Southwest 1000-piece is a great way to spend a couple of evenings. Here’s a progress photo.

[Image of a partially completed puzzle on a dining table. A redheaded woman is sitting at the table but her face isn’t visible.]

1 Retweet | 4 Likes

**Puzzle Reviews @PuzzleStan** Wrapped up another Palo Alto wooden puzzle, Shining in the Cave. Is anyone else starting to get Repeating Whimsy Fatigue from them always reusing the same set? Here’s a photo of the finished product and one of just the whimsy pieces.

0 Retweets | 2 Likes

**Puzzle Reviews @PuzzleStan** Starting a new puzzle.

0 Retweets | 0 Likes

* * *

**Reddit - r/trashmouth**

**SUBJECT: Have we seen the seventh Loser?**

u/JimLake

I know Richie has talked about his childhood friends the Losers Club in a lot of interviews since he came back/came out, but have we ever gotten a handle on who all of them are?

  * Richie, duh
  * Bev Marsh
  * Bill Denbrough
  * Ben the architect (I’ve heard people call him Bev’s boyfriend but isn’t she married?)
  * Mike who’s allegedly a librarian but is always on vacation posting selfies
  * Eddie who IDK what he does other than get angry in Richie’s comments
  * Aren’t there supposed to be seven?



u/scrapper

Unsolved mystery! There’s a married couple that pop up in photos with the others sometimes, but no one knows if they have any social media. There’s a lot of speculation about this on r/losersclub if you’re interested, but you seem to have a healthy/casual level of knowledge and over there they can be...a lot.

* * *

**Reddit - r/losersclub**

**Selfie with Richie! 4 down 3 to go** | 6 hours ago, 7 comments

 **Court filings between Bev and Tom Rogan** | 4 days ago, 40 comments

 **Who is Stan????** | 3 months ago, 489 comments

 **Eddie’s Venmo friends** | 3 hours ago, 23 comments

 **Where in the world is Mike Hanlon today?** | 2 months ago, 327 comments

* * *

* * *

**Richie Tozier @DickTozier** new special THOSE AREN’T MINE coming to netflix april 24. please watch i have a mortgage to pay now.

* * *

**Richie Tozier @DickTozier** my friend’s super into puzzles do you think he’ll like this

* * *

**Puzzle Reviews @PuzzleStan** Here is a progress photo of a 48 piece Fairy Tale Castle puzzle. Not my usual, in case you couldn’t tell. It was a gift from a friend.

> **Jessica @romeoblue** I retroactively feel better about all the puzzles I got Sam before I started doing my research.

* * *

**group chat: talk derry to me**

**Richie:** hands up who thinks stan should cave and AT LEAST get instagram

 **Bill:** social media’s not for everyone!

 **Stan:** Why do you even care?

 **Richie:** sometimes i see things that make me think of you and it’d be nice if i could tag you!

 **Bill:** that’s actually kind of sweet.

 **Stan:** That’s what texting is for.

 **Eddie:** It’s a fucking trap is what it is. Every fucking day he tags me in fifty posts that have nothing to do with me.

 **Richie:** and it gets your attention EVERY TIME

 **Stan:** I take it back, that’s not what texting is for.

 **Bill:** wait you just tag us in stuff to annoy us?

 **Richie:** no you wouldn’t get annoyed so there’s no point, i actually just tag you because i’m thinking of you

 **Bev:** awwww richie

 **Richie:** when i want to annoy bill i just ask him about the plot holes in his books

 **Bev:** spoke too soon

* * *

**Richie Tozier @DickTozier** wild how all the losers live in the 21st century and have social media except for stan who lives to spite me. time for some reverse psychology

> **Eddie Kaspbrak @EJKaspbrak** Reverse psychology isn’t going to work if you admit that’s what you’re doing.
> 
> **Richie Tozier @DickTozier** WELL HE’S NOT HERE SO UNLESS YOU’RE A SNITCH
> 
> **Eddie Kaspbrak @EJKaspbrak** Fine. Reverse psychology won’t work because Stan is much smarter than you.
> 
> **@funcanbegin** THE SEVENTH LOSER HAS A NAME

* * *

**@TWOMlMlR** The only good man on this website is this grandpa who only tweets about birds and puzzles.

17.6K Retweets and comments | 132K Likes

> **@alexpetal** i needed this SO MUCH today
> 
> **@fixthedryer** Someone can like birds and puzzles without being a grandfather. They’re not just for old people.
> 
> **@daddyshereto** @fixthedryer OVERRULED death of the author he’s a grampa.
> 
> **@silvereyes** I would die for him.
> 
> **@sluglife** the only guy using this website properly.
> 
> **@sjobergs** the video with him narrating about the different shapes of puzzle pieces is my new asmr
> 
> **@parabatai** PLEASE it’s so cute how he always says what the picture is of like it’s not obvious
> 
> **@angrypig** @parabatai ACCESSIBILITY KING

* * *

**Richie Tozier @DickTozier** @TwitterSupport if i apologize for the “pat sajak is dead” hoax will you please verify me so i can feel superior

* * *

* * *

**Puzzle Reviews @PuzzleStan** Started a new puzzle. No box picture this time, I’m doing it without referencing the photo to make the assembly last longer.

5,689 Retweets and Comments | 27.7K Likes

* * *

**Richie Tozier @DickTozier** was anyone going to tell me my accountant friend went through a HOT BITCH phase in accountant school or was that something i was just going to have to find out for myself????

[Photo: Stan in college.]

> **@englishclass** ABS
> 
> **@toziertrash** ABS
> 
> **@notaccidents** ABS
> 
> **@aggressiveyou** ABS
> 
> **@wormhive** ABS
> 
> **@reddieforit** ABS

* * *

**Sam @whimsical** What do we think PuzzleStan’s real name is? He feels like a Milton or a Walter.

> **Betty @ridesthebear** Wait, I thought his name was Stan, not that he was calling himself a stan
> 
> **Jamie @omgFREEFORM** ashdfgakjfhdkjshfk PUZZLE STANLEY
> 
> **Sam @whimsical** WAIT STOP IS IT A PUN?
> 
> **Jamie @omgFREEFORM** no way my man stanley knows what a stan is

**Sam @whimsical** POLL: Is PuzzleStan:

-A puzzle enthusiast named Stan (44%, 3553 votes)

-An anonymous stan of puzzles (44%, 3602 votes)

-A puzzle enthusiast named Stan who is leaning into the wordplay (12%, 969 votes)

**@maraisarcane** please look at the absolute chaos currently unfolding over on puzzle twitter

> [Screenshot of replies to Sam’s poll:
> 
> **@flushingsilver** This is blowing my mind, I didn’t realize it was ambiguous!
> 
> 54 more replies - Expand this conversation
> 
> **@connorsox** @tallesttiptoes @glowcave @burnslivingflowers @billbowery @whimsical @flushingsilver Shit like this is why Trump got elected.]

**@jonesburger** "Is @PuzzleStan actually named Stan" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

* * *

**group chat: [puzzle] stan wars**

**Sam:** my mentions are a warzone, i did not realize this was going to be a blue dress/white dress thing.

 **Betty:** Puzzle Stan’s real name is something that can actually be so personal.

 **Jamie:** it got SPICY

 **Betty:** Sam, you’re a puzzle nerd, can’t you just ask around in your puzzle group chats? There can’t be that many people in Puzzworld.

 **Sam:** okay first of all i don’t have any puzzle group chats. second of all i’m not trying to doxx an old man.

 **Betty:** Do any of you follow his wife? I love her

 **Jamie:** you follow his WIFE?

 **Sam:** i can’t believe i followed this dude for his puzzle reviews and here we are a year later and you’re stalking his wife

 **Betty:** He retweets her sometimes, it’s not that weird! She’s @TallyHunter (which I think is a bird thing??? Her name’s Patty), she mostly just posts about birds she sees and DIY stuff she does around the house and how much she hates their next door neighbor

 **Jamie:** wait taking a look now and did she make that table herself????? holy shit

 **Betty:** I KNOW

 **Betty:** She reminds me of you actually

* * *

**@godbrandlikesboats** me a week ago: what’s a whimsy

me now: when it comes to variety and innovation in wooden jigsaws no one is doing what walden puzzles is doing

* * *

**Conversation with Ben Hanscom** ****

**Stan:** Hey, remember that time with the scarecrows and the firecrackers? How you said you owed me your life?

 **Ben:** i don’t like where this is going, but yes

 **Stan:** I have a question, which isn’t a big deal, but I’m cashing in the big favor because you can’t tell the others.

 **Ben:** of course, i would respect that anyway!

 **Stan:** Not even Bev, Ben.

 **Ben:** ohhhhhhh. 

**Ben:** oh wow

 **Ben:** okay, if you say so.

 **Stan:** Does “stan” have a different meaning on the internet besides just being a name?

* * *

**Richie Tozier @DickTozier** did you guys know that some people are really touchy about how ACTUALLY RICHIE birding and birdwatching are two different things

* * *

**Puzzle Reviews @PuzzleStan - 1 year ago**

Had to get this one to support my friend Bill!

[Photo: The box of a “famous horror writers” jigsaw puzzle featuring the covers of several popular novels, including Bill Denbrough’s _The Black Rapids._ ]

* * *

**group chat: [puzzle] stan wars**

**Sam:** okay this tweet is super old but...is he saying he’s friends with bill denbrough? or is this a cute grandpa thing where he just calls authors he likes his friends

 **Betty:** My friend Puzzle Stan

 **Jamie:** i call jonathan franzen my nemesis all the time it checks out

 **Betty:** Stan’s not following him but IDK if Stan only follows puzzle people or what, let me check

 **Jamie:** yeah he hardly follows anyone

 **Betty:** Then again Bill retweets every single person who @’s him, I wouldn’t follow him either

 **Sam:** you can just disable retweets for someone

 **Jamie:** i would bet money that my friend puzzle stan doesn’t know how to do that

 **Sam:** okay fair point

 **Betty:** One of the non-famous losers club guys follows Puzzle Stan but so do a hundred thousand other people, so...inconclusive

 **Jamie:** which one? thirst trap librarian?

 **Betty:** No, hot architect

 **Betty:** Sam why are Puzzle Stan and your girlfriend mutuals

 **Sam:** WHAT

 **Sam:** THEY’RE WHAT

 **Jamie:** inspector betty you’ve done it again

* * *

**Conversation with Jessica 💖👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🎡**

**Sam:** babe how and why are you twitter mutuals with @PuzzleStan

 **Jessica:** oh stan’s so nice!

 **Sam:** WAIT IS HIS NAME FOR SURE ACTUALLY STAN

 **Sam:** wow sorry i am really hyped up right now

 **Jessica:** LMAO it’s fine. yes, as far as i know his name is actually stan.

 **Sam:** when did he follow you???? he hardly follows anyone

 **Jessica:** it was around when you finished grad school! i went on some puzzle website asking for help figuring out what to get you and they pointed me in his direction

 **Jessica:** i had NO idea what i was doing and he was soooooo patient, he DMed me all these questions about what i thought you might like and then helped me find one where the little shapes were mythology themed

 **Sam:** i have never been more in love with you than i am right now

* * *

**group chat: [puzzle] stan wars**

**Sam:** SHE FOUND HIM ON A PUZZLE FORUM????? HE HELPED HER PICK OUT A GIFT FOR ME?????? SHE’S PRETTY SURE HIS NAME IS REALLY STAN??????

 **Betty:** WHAT

 **Jamie:** plot twist

 **Sam:** i need to lie down oh my GOD

 **Sam:** my favorite possession was personally selected for me by my girlfriend and PUZZLE STAN

 **Jamie:** sam i hope you know by now that you need to marry that girl

 **Betty:** PUT A RING ON IT

 **Sam:** I’M WORKING ON IT

* * *

**@showthemyourback** Twitter is teaching me a lot more about puzzles than I ever expected. I’m learning so much.

* * *

**Puzzle Reviews @PuzzleStan** Check out the incredible puzzle tray @TallyHunter made for my birthday!

* * *

**group chat:** **[puzzle] stan wars**

**Betty:** I want to be Patty PuzzleStan when I grow up

 **Betty:** Or I want to be married to her???? It’s complicated

 **Jamie:** i’m telling mr puzzlestan you’re trying to steal his girl

 **Sam:** jamie i know you would and i am begging you please DO NOT show up in his mentions telling him we’re obsessed with his wife

 **Sam:** people are actually weirdly good about being normal in his mentions given that he has like 100k followers and they’re all obsessed with him

 **Betty:** Like he’s a majestic deer in a clearing in the woods and no one wants to startle him

 **Jamie:** weird but beautiful thought betty

 **Betty:** Do you think he realizes how widely Twitter famous he is or does he just think that Puzzle Twitter blew up

 **Sam:** adhjfgdskjfhjjk he’s getting tens of thousands of retweets and looking at it like “this must be typical”

 **Sam:** honestly i’ve never seen him comment on it so...maybe

* * *

**Richie Tozier @DickTozier** i can’t remember exactly when i was born so let’s just say it’s 7:13 and i’ll make one hell of a scene at my birthday dinner when the moment comes

> **@beepbeepkatie** you were born at 4:28. You Missed it already
> 
> **@DickTozier** how do you know that

* * *

**group chat: [puzzle] stan wars**

**Sam:** ALL HANDS ON DECK THIS IS NOT A DRILL

 **Jamie:** did betty finally slide into patty’s dms

 **Betty:** EXCUSE YOU

 **Betty:** What’s not a drill, Sam?

_[Sam has added Jessica to the group “[puzzle] stan wars”]_

**Betty:** omg

 **Jamie:** HI MRS SAM’S GIRLFRIEND

 **Jessica:** hi!!!

 **Sam:** babe tell them what you just told me

 **Jessica:** well sam was just asking me if i had seen the photos stan has been posting of the puzzle he’s working on

 **Jamie:** okay actually while you’re here let’s talk about how you’re best friends with puzzle stanley

 **Jessica:** he’s so nice! he’s always encouraging when i post design sketches.

 **Betty:** Aww, I love that

 **Sam:** JESSICA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUT IF YOU DON’T TELL THEM ABOUT THE SWEATER I WILL LITERALLY DIE

 **Jessica:** sweetie, don’t forget to breathe.

 **Betty:** In and out, Sam, in and out

 **Jessica:** anyway!!!! getting to the point: i pulled up the photos and in the one where he’s holding up the flower shaped pieces you can see the cuff of his sweater

 **Jessica:** and i’m not totally sure but it looks to me like it’s from bev marsh’s fall collection? which is weird because not even stylists have that yet, my work has been trying to get it and they haven’t been able to

 **Jamie:** are you telling me

 **Jamie:** that my grandfather

 **Jamie:** puzzle staniel

 **Jamie:** KNOWS BEV MARSH

 **Jessica:** probably! unless his mom is anna wintour or something.

 **Sam:** SEE???????????????????????????????

 **Betty:** Oh my god

 **Betty:** WAIT IS STAN THE SEVENTH LOSER?

 **Jamie:** shut up he’s ACTUALLY friends with bill denbrough

 **Sam:** omg...i thought calling bill his friend was just a cute old man thing…

 **Jessica:** doesn’t the seventh loser not have any social media?

 **Betty:** NONE THAT ANYONE KNEW OF...UNTIL NOW

 **Jamie:** can you imagine dropping this bomb on the tl

 **Jessica:** noooo stan’s so private!

 **Jamie:** ok you’re right we can’t doxx grandpa

 **Jamie:** but it would still be the best night on twitter since the himbo tweet

 **Betty:** God this makes me want to call out from work tomorrow. There’s too much to research WHY DON’T ANY OF US KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RICHIE TOZIER

 **Jamie:** bc until like six months ago he was letting homophobes write all his material?

 **Betty:** Okay fair

 **Sam:** ugh i wish we could consult a richie stan but a lot of them are super creepy and i don’t want to be the reason this gets out

 **Jessica:** remember my old roommate annie? she’s a fan, i could ask her.

 **Sam:** YES that would be great, thank you!

 **Jessica:** of course 😘

 **Jamie:** sam i am once again asking you to put a ring on it

 **Sam:** JAMIE.

* * *

**Puzzle Reviews @PuzzleStan** FYI everyone I got an email claiming to be from Twitter asking for a ton of personal information and a copy of my ID to secure my account somehow. It looked really legitimate; be careful out there.

> **@verified** That was really from us! Verification lets users know that an account of public interest is authentic. DM us and we can get the ball rolling for you.
> 
> **@PuzzleStan** I just post about jigsaw puzzles, I’m all set.
> 
> **@safeintheshell** you dropped this, king 👑

**@solarprophet** @DickTozier how does it feel that they’re offering to verify the puzzle grandpa and not you

> **@DickTozier** NOT GREAT KYLE

**@cryotankie** puzzle stan declining the blue check...grandpa will not abandon the common poster

* * *

**@seeweeds** idk when i became a person with strong opinions about puzzles but whenever puzzle stan is working on a regular jigsaw i go into whimsy withdrawal

> **@osheameless** [pounding your clipboard]: SHAPES, SHAPES, SHAPES!

* * *

**Reddit - r/losersclub**

**I was looking at Ben’s LinkedIn and...** | 4 days ago, 17 comments

 **New OTP: Richie/His Accountant** | 2 days ago, 140 comments

 **Eddie owns too many plants** | 7 hours ago, 29 comments

 **Any interest in a viewing party for Bill's movies?** | 12 hours ago, 55 comments

 **Derry Registry of Deeds** | 12 days ago, 382 comments

* * *

**group chat: CORE SECRET GROUP CHAT**

**Sam:** annie, chuck, welcome

 **Annie:** hiiiiii everyone

 **Chuck:** Hi guys!

 **Sam:** so we’re all clear on the ground rules: protect the secret at all costs

 **Jamie:** i mean i’m not going to die for him but sure

 **Annie:** of course!

 **Chuck:** No worries, there’s no way you have anything that’s juicier than stuff we already know

 **Betty:** We are gathered here today to explore our extremely credible theory that Stan, the cryptid Seventh Loser, is actually @PuzzleStan

 **Annie:** HOLY SHIT

 **Chuck:** ...Wow okay yeah that is pretty good.

 **Sam:** let’s get into the THEORIES

* * *

**Puzzle Reviews @PuzzleStan** About to start a new puzzle.

26.2K Retweets and Comments | 247K Likes

**@buddyandbiscuit** when puzzle stan does whimsy tweets

* * *

**group chat: CORE SECRET GROUP CHAT**

**Annie:** puzzle stan is an accountant, right?

 **Sam:** yeah

 **Annie:** fuck

 **Sam:** what?????

 **Annie:** are you in the right headspace to receive information that could possibly hurt you?

 **Jamie:** always

 **Annie:** [screenshot of Richie's tweet with College Stan and the abs]

 **Sam:** GOOD LORD

 **Betty:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **Betty:** You guys I physically cannot continue to live in this human body if it turns out this is Puzzle Stan. I can’t live on earth with that knowledge.

 **Jamie:** patty...well done my good bitch

 **Chuck:** In less earthshattering news, I think the ottoman in the background of this puzzle photo is the same one from Richie’s “I’d marry the fuck out of this ottoman” tweet?

 **Annie:** chuck i think you’re gonna have to give them a minute

* * *

**Puzzle Reviews @PuzzleStan** Just finished this gorgeous puzzle by Wanderer Press. Here’s a photo of the full puzzle as well as a photo of it flipped over so you can see how intricately the pieces were cut.

15.7K Retweets and Comments | 180K Likes

**@cowboyperil** DID YOU SEE THE PUZZLE? HE FLIPPED THE BITCH

* * *

**Puzzle Reviews @PuzzleStan** Started a “new” puzzle. I’ve actually done this one before but I’m going to try assembling it upside down using the grain/texture of the wood to guide me. Here’s a photo of what I’ve gotten done so far.

[Image - Stan’s coffee table with a partially assembled puzzle on it. All of the pieces are upside down.]

**Richie Tozier @dicktozier** you ever stay over at someone’s house and then stumble on a hobby that proves they’re definitely a serial killer? a man who does this for fun fears no god

[Image - Stan’s coffee table with a partially assembled puzzle on it. All of the pieces are upside down.]

> **@ninjaboyfriend** @dicktozier THIS IS @PUZZLESTAN’S HOUSE
> 
> **@withapencil** @dicktozier richie...has your friend stan been THE INTERNET’S GRANDPA @PuzzleStan this whole entire time?????

* * *

**@camphalfblood** who had “richie tozier is puzzlestan’s houseguest” in twitter bingo this month

**PuzzleSam** **@whimsical** i...worked on this story for a year...and...he just...he tweeted it out

**@mogadorian** backreading richie and stan’s twitters like

* * *

**Twitter - Trending Now**

  1. PuzzleStan
  2. Losers Club
  3. Seventh Loser
  4. Upside Down
  5. #RICHIETOZIERISOVERPARTY



* * *

**group chat: derrieres**

**Richie:** stanley

 **Richie:** staniel

 **Richie:** stanjamin

 **Richie:** is there a reason there are a million people on twitter screaming at me about something called @PuzzleStan

 **Stan:** Yes, Richie, that’s my Twitter account.

 **Richie:** AHA! YOU TOLD ME YOU DON’T HAVE TWITTER! caught in your own web

 **Bev:** oooh, drama!

 **Mike:** Stan has twitter?

 **Stan:** It’s called lying.

 **Richie:** stan this is a lot less fun if you just admit to everything

 **Eddie:** Keep it up, Stan.

 **Richie:** do you even know what stan means

 **Stan:** It’s my name.

 **Richie:** NOT THAT

 **Stan:** I asked Ben a while back and he told me.

 **Richie:** BEN KNEW? ET TU, HAYSTACK?

 **Ben:** he asked me not to tell! he called in a favor from 1989! i had to!

 **Mike:** Ohhhh was this from the incident with old man Peters

 **Ben:** i owed him for that!

 **Bev:** ben kept a secret?????

 **Ben:** i’m sorry i wanted to tell you 😥

 **Bev:** no i love it, i didn’t know you were capable of keeping secrets, it’s very 007 of you

 **Richie:** keep it in your pants marsh

 **Richie:** the only thing on the schedule right now is BETRAYAL

 **Eddie:** Oh, so NOW you’re into keeping to a schedule.

 **Richie:** eds i’m into whatever you want me to be

 **Bev:** no fair i thought we were keeping it in our pants

 **Bill:** what’d i miss

 **Richie:** STAN LIED TO ME AND BEN COVERED IT UP

* * *

* * *

**Richie Tozier @dicktozier** ALL BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE ARE UNTRUSTWORTHY LIARS! ONLY UGLINESS BESTOWS MORAL CHARACTER!!!!!!!!

 **Richie Tozier @dicktozier** YES one of my many beautiful friends has wronged me and NO i don’t want to talk about it

 **Richie Tozier @dicktozier** fyi @PuzzleStan may have tricked everyone into thinking he is a sweet and kindly grandpa but actually he is MEAN and he is BITCHY and it’s important that you all know that

> **@driftcompatible** my grandpa is a bitch and i love him

* * *

**Patty @TallyHunter** 😏

> **Jamie** **@omgFREEFORM** GET IT MRS PUZZLES

* * *

**group chat: CORE SECRET GROUP CHAT**

**Betty:** Well I guess we can disband this now

 **Jamie:** wait what was the other juicier stuff you guys said you knew

 **Chuck:** IDK if we should say.

 **Annie:** our other gc is called “who is richie tozier’s secret boyfriend” and that’s all we can tell you

 **Jamie:** it’s eddie right

 **Chuck:** DAMN IT

* * *

**Conversation with Mike Hanlon**

**Mike:** Just checking in to make sure you’re okay with suddenly being a public figure. I know you were trying to keep a low profile.

 **Stan:** I’m not bothered. Once people found out that Richie, Bev, and Bill are all friends, the rest of us were always going to end up getting some attention one way or another. If that’s the cost of all of us being in each other’s lives again, it’s worth it.

 **Mike:** Right back at you.

 **Mike:** I have to admit I’m surprised, though. You really seemed opposed to social media.

 **Stan:** Oh, that.

 **Stan:** To be honest, I just liked knowing Richie couldn’t show up in my mentions if he didn’t know I had any.

 **Mike:** …

 **Mike:** That actually makes a lot of sense.

 **Mike:** Is it weird if I kind of like all the attention?

 **Stan:** I’ve seen your Instagram, you don’t have to tell me you like the attention.

 **Mike:** Not like that! Okay, a little.

 **Mike:** Having so many people know about us makes it harder to worry about you all forgetting again.

 **Stan:** Oh, Mike.

 **Stan:** I promise this time we’re all stuck with each other.

 **Stan:** Of course with that said I probably will block Richie soon.

 **Mike:** Just make sure you tip Eddie off before you do it. He’ll want to see Richie’s reaction for himself.

 **Stan:** Great idea, he’ll probably send me video if we time it right.

* * *

**Direct Messages with Puzzle Reviews (@PuzzleStan)**

**Sam:** Hi there! Sorry to bother you, I’m Jessica @romeoblue’s girlfriend. You helped her pick out a puzzle as a gift for me once?

 **Puzzle Reviews:** Hi Sam! It’s no bother, what’s up?

 **Sam:** You’ve posted a couple of custom-made puzzles in the past, I was wondering if you could give me the info for the company that makes them. There are a few out there but it’s hard to judge quality from their websites.

 **Sam:** (I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention this to Jessica, by the way! It’s a surprise for her.)

 **Puzzle Reviews:** Oh, it’s not a company. My wife has made me one or two puzzles as gifts.

 **Sam:** Oh, never mind then! I knew she was talented but WOW that is incredible. I’ll start doing my research on those companies.

 **Puzzle Reviews:** Let me ask her, she might want to. If she says no, no big deal.

 **Sam:** Thank you so much!!!

* * *

**group chat: jamie do NOT blow this for me**

**Sam:** so you know how you’re always telling me to put a ring on it

 **Betty:** OMG YOU’RE PROPOSING?

 **Jamie:** finally

 **Sam:** it’s going to be a few weeks before everything’s ready so i need you both on standby to calm me down when i start freaking out

 **Jamie:** can i have fun with it or are you like legitimately worried she won’t say yes

 **Sam:** no, i’m sure she’ll say yes, we’re adults who discuss our feelings

 **Jamie:** emotional honesty...sounds fake but okay

 **Jamie:** fyi betty’s not responding bc she’s already DEEP into the pinterest board she just made for your wedding. she’s probably gonna be a while

* * *

**Conversation with Patty Uris**

**Bev:** thanks again! you’ll have to visit us next time

 **Patty:** of course, you know you’re our favorite LA hotel 😊

 **Bev:** oh btw, i meant to ask before we left but it totally slipped my mind while we were scrambling to get to the airport

 **Bev:** what was with those designs on your workbench?

 **Patty:** a friend of stan’s did them! it’s for a puzzle her girlfriend commissioned me to make

 **Bev:** anyone i would have heard of?

 **Patty:** i don’t think so? i can give you her info but it’s supposed to be a surprise so i wouldn’t reach out or anything until after she has the puzzle

 **Bev:** understood! i’m no ben but i think i can handle keeping it a secret

* * *

**Jessica @romeoblue** I said yes. ❤

[Image: An almost-completely-assembled jigsaw puzzle. The image on the puzzle is a collage of Jessica’s design sketches. The whimsy pieces have all been removed and laid out below the puzzle; they’re letters arranged to spell out WILL YOU MARRY ME?]

* * *

**Richie Tozier @dicktozier** this is very funny but definitely not something i would turn into a bit. on an unrelated note @PuzzleStan can i come visit soon [ https://twitter.com/tacotraplord/status/1286489727839997954 ](https://twitter.com/tacotraplord/status/1286489727839997954)

**Puzzle Reviews @PuzzleStan** [Image: A screenshot of Richie’s profile from Stan’s Twitter app. He’s been blocked.]

* * *

**group chat: derry girls**

**Eddie:** Richie just threw his phone in the fucking garbage.

**Stan: 👍**


End file.
